I suddenly have the urge of blogging this, hoping to get some view from you guys.
Let me throw you a question, a question which I might get the normal, common answer.
Why do you want to work?
Let me guess some of the common answers that I would get. Forgetting the main factor of all i.e. $$ because I believe that's what everyone work for.
Life continues, and working is the next stage of our life
To support our family
Experience that you would never get in study life
Above is some of the answers that is quite common to all of us and I have no doubt on it. For me personally, the thinking that I have now would rather towards number 1 and 3. I am hoping that I can move towards self satisfaction ignoring the money factor.
I came to ponder something relating to reason of working when a lot of people came telling me this. People came asking me where do I work (the usual question), so I have nothing to hide and telling them straight I work in BNM. As a Malaysian and of course as a people who are already working, 99.999999% of the people would give me the i-am-so-jealous-of-you look and to make that look worst by telling them I am the scholar.
A lot of people and yet again 99.999999999% of them would tell me that I should be glad of getting in here and should not ever think of changing my job. And this is because everyone is looking from the perspective of $$$. Well yeah, it is a good job, i never deny on it. I do learn things, I do have wonderful colleagues, I have a nice boss who is more than willing to guide whenever I needed to. It offers the best ever salary and benefits that one could get outside which such a flexible working hours. I don't blame others for so envying me.
But, deep down inside me, I just feel that this is not the place for me. I just don't feel it.
A lot of people said that I am such a lucky girl, being able to move so smoothly from teenage life into this working life without much obstacles. And also maybe this is the reason why I felt I shouldn't be here. I feel like going out there ALONE, learning how to be independent
I do of course appreciate all the things that my parents had did for me. But I feel like it is the time for me to go out to this world alone. I don't want always to be the protected one. I don't want others to say I am like a princess who never know how tough is the life out there. I know if ever I am going to step out from here, I migh regret it, but this is the only way I'll get to grow facing with all sorts of difficulties. But at the same time, I would consider of taking care of my parents.